Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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