Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
