Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
