is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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