If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
