u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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