We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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