While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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