I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
