dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Houston, we have a squirter
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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