Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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