i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
