oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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