Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
