I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Never let your siblings swipe right.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
