we have officially lost it.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This beer is not sobering me up at all
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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