I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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