So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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