in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
