Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
