I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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