Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
