ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
