so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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