i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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