Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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