ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
