Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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