I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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