what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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