Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
