god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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