dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
