there was a trapeze. enough said
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
