D3 body, D1 cock
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
