I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
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She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
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lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm both gender and math confused
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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