is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
