just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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