We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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