got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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