Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize