he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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