Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
