Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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