I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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