I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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