I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
