Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize