I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
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.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable