I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.