ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line