I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??