i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
