I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
