Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
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And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
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all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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