You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
