oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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