hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize