Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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