Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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